Monday, December 29, 2008
Yes, yes and more yes-ing!
After "brush" was the best answer we could come up with, I decided to do a little digging – only to find the answer could be one of two things: "brush" or "better". Brush makes sense, but I found another source that said "Oral B is a combination of oral hygiene and the letter B, which stands for the words better."
Granted the second answer sounds like a bunch of B.S. to me...but I guess we'll never really know...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Have you ever wondered how much all those items would actually cost?
One partridge in a pear tree: $15 for the patridge and $150 for the pear tree --> $165 total
Two turtle doves: $40
Three french hens: $45
Four calling birds (aka canaries who knew??): $600
Five golden rings: $395
Six geese-a-laying: $360
Seven swans-a-swimming: $4,200 holy pricey!!
Eight maids-a-milking: $47
Nine ladies dancing (per performance): $4,759
Ten lords-a-leaping (per performance): $4,285
Eleven pipers piping (per performance): $2,213
Twelve drummers drumming (per performance): $2,398
GRAND TOTAL: $19,507 (this number implies nine through twelve only performed once)
Yikes. It's also said these items are more expensive online.
I wonder if you can find seven swans-a-swimming on eBay for less? Buy it now!
(information courtesy of MSNBC)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
He was pretty cool. However, not nearly as cool as this Mr. G. He makes me want to dramaaaaaa!
Don't you worry your pretty little head too much.
Visit Is It Christmas whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and prepare to be informed.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas...on the right day.
How Not To Propose
The fact that I have back-to-back references regarding weddings/honeymoons is merely coincidental. Plus with three good friends getting hitched next year, our topics of conversation have shifted a bit from what shirt are we wearing tonight to what the bridesmaids' dresses should look like.
Monday, December 15, 2008
So we're talking about the honeymoon when I realize - what a strange term honeymoon is. Clearly, this led me to ask my two friends if they knew the origin – both gave me blank stares.
Naturally, we Googled it and multiple stories were found. This one was my favorite explanation:
The word honeymoon has its roots in Norse word “hjunottsmanathr” which was anything but blissful. The Northern European history describes it as the abduction of a bride from the neighboring village. It was imperative, that the abductor, who is husband to be, take his bride to be into hiding for period of time. His friends assured his and her safe keeping and kept their whereabouts unknown. Once the bride’s family gave up their search, the bridegroom returns to his people. This folkloric explanation presumably is the origin of today’s ‘honeymoon’, for its original meaning meant ‘hiding’.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Now we're talking!
While Plato said it well with...
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
My mom said it better with...
Everyone is a work in progress.
It is this new philosophy that puts a lot of things into perspective. If only I could figure out a way for all to embrace it so we (as a human race) wouldn't be so darn quick to judge others.
Alas, I'll just keep pluggin' along with my random bananas...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Happy birthday, Mom-olla. I love you!
[Please note: this blog post will not take place of the actual phone call I will make to wish her well so don't try to blame me if you forget to call your mom on her birthday by saying you wished her well on your blog...it won't work!]
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
What you don't know about this friend is that she has the uncanny ability to predict who is calling her before the call happens. I was explaining about this so-called "disease" called phantom vibrations, where you think you hear or feel your phone vibrating, when in fact, it's not.
She went on to mention that she occasionally picks up her phone to call someone only to find that person is calling her AT THE EXACT SAME TIME. Now - I know you might be thinking - why is this a big deal? This happens to me all the time. Well, get off your high horse, buckoo, because we're not trying to impress anyone. We're just simply trying to patent a name for what it feels like to pick up the phone to call someone who is calling you simultaneously. Have no fear - PREDICTACALL is the ability to predict someone is calling you at the same time you pick up the phone to call them.
I know you've been searching for the right term for years and YOU ARE WELCOME for giving you the answers.
And for this, I went to college...
Dad: I really like that one song she sings about heaven...and she sings with someone else.
me: hmmm...she does sing a song with Whitney Houston, featured in a Disney film.
Dad: No... [while singing to himself]
me: OH! "One Sweet Day"? With Boyz II Men?
Dad: Yes! That's a great song! Didn't she write it for someone? What was his name? Sheeky Tuko? Sheeka Tukup? Sheek Tulu?
me: You're getting closer....
Dad: Shoot, why do I even try with names?
me: I think you're going for Tupac Shakur...and actually, no, that song wasn't written for him.
Anyways, you probably had to be there to hear my dad say "SHEEKY TUKO" with such exuberance that you wish Tupac's real name was Sheeky...
And for the record, visit here to learn who "One Sweet Day" was written for. In the meantime, I'll keep hoping that one sweet day, my father will properly name a celebrity just once.
I am Mr.Tan Wong director of operations, Hang Seng Bank, Hong Kong.I have urgent and
very confidential business proposition involving transfer of $24,500,000.00 that will
be of great benefit for both of us. I will give you more details as regards this
transaction as soon as you notify me of your interest. Awaiting your urgent reply via
my email address (firstname.lastname@example.org)which is my confidential email address
Pretty sure, it's completely legit. I hope Mr. Wong's ready to do business with me - except that I just shared with you his "confidential" e-mail address. Oops.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
'Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!"
I hope you noted that the last "forever" was followed by an exclamation point (!). And NOW, when you sing along to this groovy ditty, you will know when it's appropriate to exclaim FOREVER! rather than just your said forever.
There is a difference, you know. Just ask David.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
So since Turkey Day is officially over, here's a great way to kick start this holiday season:
Just don't blame me if this gets stuck in your head!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The float featured at this particular time was something like Foster's Imaginary House of Friends (or something else eerily creepy and puppet-like), when out of nowhere, Rick Astley shows up! Yes. The king of "Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down" sure did not let us down - he officially Rickrolled every viewer of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Success doesn't even begin to describe what he accomplished. I was thoroughly entertained, slightly disturbed, yet couldn't look away. Rick Astley, you most definitely did NOT let me down today. You did, however, prompt my father to put on a trench coat and attempt your dance moves. But that's neither here nor there.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I could really post every single "Real Men of Genius" Bud Light came up with, but for now, we'll start with this.
Today's "can't stop listening to" is:
Madly by Tristan Prettyman
I grew up in a household filled with music, highly encouraged. Though I used to play the piano when I was younger, but could never sit still long enough to really understand what I was doing. Music has the uncanny ability to always have a song to fit exactly the emotion I'm feeling.
And the beat goes on...
If you said the latter, then ding! ding! ding!
Speidi tie the knot
Our favorite couple (and mind you, I use that term very loosely) has done the unexpected - gotten married with nary a camera in sight. I think that is the biggest shock for me to take in.
Now it's got me wondering...who's next? Audrina and Justin Bobby? Lo and Brody? Oh, the possibilities really are endless!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
"Brand New Day" by Joshua Radin
Don't you wonder where these sayings got their beginnings??
Let me know what you find.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I used to think umbrellas were a nuisance until I realized I simply did not own the right one. Umbrellas are like purses. You need to use and wear it and feel confident. No one wants a cheap umbrella or an ugly umbrella.
Enter: THE WEATHER CHANNEL UMBRELLA.
I feel like a new woman when I hold this guy to protect me from the massive downpours that can occur downtown Chicago. In fact, it may be a fact that I have never felt more confident with this umbrella resting on my shoulder.
There is just something so amazingly ironic about using it on a rainy day and it makes me giddy every time. Yes, giddy.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The fact it is Matthew McConaughey's birthday today!
Happy happy birthday...I want to send your mother a thank you card for giving birth to you because you adorn our kitchen day in and day out.
(I know this post is creepy and I don't even care)
Person asks me: "So did you vote?"
My reply: "For what?"
...Then proceed to observe their reaction to my "ignorance."
Ahh...it's the little things.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
These contestants know waaaaay too much useful information. I, on the other hand, know plenty of useless information and it has gotten me this far.
Ain't no stopping me now.
Friday, October 17, 2008
The world's first resealable can!
It's about time! I'm tired of leaving my pop or beer around, only to have it go from fresh to flat in zero to eleven minutes. Fret no more - you can close your can and save it for later. Although if you are saving the beer for later, then I have to ask: why wait?
A digital closet, on the other hand, would be totally helpful.
Come to think of it: if I had the time to take a picture of every piece of apparel I owned, it probably wouldn't be that difficult.
Luckily, I don't have that much time on my hands so I'll just continue wearing the same things over and over until that special day I discover that shirt I bought three years and simply "had to have."
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Please enjoy this play by play from the FIRST BASEBALL GAME EVER.
And I was kidding about above. REAL diamonds are a girl's best friend. Shine on.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I was just thinking how strange it would be if our teeth weren't white. Wouldn't it be odd to have green teeth or fuschia?
We'd have to throw out the phrase "pearly whites" and insert "organic greens" or something.
Ew. That's actually pretty gross.
...to wear clothes you don't like or regret putting on in the first place.
...to eat food that causes you to make a disgusted face and say "gross" outloud.
...to drink bad coffee.
...to listen to music that doesn't make your heart happy.
...to complain about the little things that are out of your control.
...to not try something that freaks you out so much you can't understand why you are doing it. (Just do it)
...to not embrace awkwardness and uneasy moments.
...to spend time with people who don't make you better.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Through six degrees of separation, I've known who she is for a few years and when she got started on "Saturday Night Live." I've always found her hilarious and now she's coming into her own (which I totally love).
I'm like a proud mom.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
At least it's a good life lesson to learn...never giving up...
Friday, October 3, 2008
There once was a witch at Summit
Whose head was an empty bucket
It sure would be dandy
If you'd help fill it with candy
Otherwise, look out for her broom
You may have to duck it
Actual content in a just received e-mail.
We also have a witch sitting up at the front desk that, when prompted, sings, "Ghouls just wanna have fuuu-unnn."
Is this heaven?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Yeah, me neither...until I was writing it in an e-mail.
(According to numerous dictionaries)
However, contrary to what you may think, the plural of 'no' is not NOSE, it is 'noes.'
Monday, September 29, 2008
My dear ol' Dad. He tries so hard.
"And the musical guest for tonight is Duffy..." says the television screen, announcing her on Saturday Night Live. To which my dad responds:
"Hmm...Duffy? Never heard of her. Wait! I have! Hilary Duffy from Disney, right?"
Then we go on to discuss good dancers (because turns out Duffy is terrible at dancing and singing live, actually)
"She's no Beyonce" - once again, Joe with the quote.
He can't be stopped.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
These two girls were out one night in the San Francisco Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars, trying to find a cab. One of the girls, Olga, ends up meeting this guy, Dmitri, and they talk for - at the most - two minutes. She hands him her business card and says, "Call me."
Here are the actual voicemails he left her. Yes he left her two and yes, they are both worth listening to.
I'm having a hard time picking my favorite quote, but he is pretty bold with, "I'm one of the few men in this city that has nothing wrong with him."
I beg to differ. I can think of two things wrong with you: voicemail #1 and voicemail #2.
Dmitri, you old stud.
...which got me thinking about quite possibly the worst song lyrics ever. And by worst, I mean best, of course.
So naturally, I gathered Google's many references and found this website:
Top 20 Worst Song Lyrics (according to Spinner.com)
Please don't take these personally. I have a few favorite artists guilty as charged with the occasional bad song lyric.
Sometimes we let it slide; and sometimes, well, we really can't let it go.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
I'm sure he has a collection of rainbows.
To conclude their season (almost), sixteen rookies were forced to dress up in Hooters outfits and parade around:
Definitely delightfully tacky.
[Overheard at my office, approx. 12:14pm]
Thursday, September 18, 2008
** Time to start freaking out about having the best Halloween costume ever - something original, that has never been done before! AHHH.
If you're feeling the stress of a great costume, well that's lame because it is early. However, lucky for you, I have come up with a few even lamer options! Yay. Awesome. But whatever you do, don't tell anyone you heard these from me.
1) Take a popular song lyrics and to quote that Project Runway dude with the accent from nowhere, "Make it work." Here's one I thought of: Tune into "Girl on TV" by LFO [yes, the Lyte Funky Ones...come on, people] and if you're a girl (or I guess, even if you're not), channel Jennifer Love Hewitt and be the girl on TV. Find a cardboard box, cut space for the screen, place on head, DONE.
2) New kids on the block are "back," (according to my friend, A). You could be a new kid on the block. Dress however you want and wear a name tag that says "Hi, I'm the new kid on the block." Therefore, no explanation needed.
3) Every year, my mom suggests being a "serial killer." Though a morbid thought, the costume would be entertaining. She says to place cereal boxes all over your body and carry around a [fake] knife. Hmmm. This costume isn't recommended by me.
4) I know this has been done because well, I did it last year: Nudist on strike. I'm not explaining this to you because it's clever. However, I will tell you that clothing is required.
5) Old Navy. Wear a bunch of clothing that is faded/distressed navy. You could also walk around singing Ingrid Michaelson then you'd practically be an Old Navy commercial.
...That's all I've got for now. Oh and I do have a random candy corn fact! Nearly 35 million pounds of candy corn are produced every year. Sweeeeet.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The RedBall Project Chicago Sponsored by Target
September 1 - 25
Chicago Cultural Center, various locations across the city
Artist Kurt Perschke's RedBall Project is a mobile sculptural performance that functions as a series of daily installations over a period of one month. The site-specific installations of the 15-foot inflatable sphere will be boldly present and smoothly transient, moving between chosen locations and engaging people on the Chicago streets and near landmark buildings. As public art that migrates, RedBall is unique in each city.
Perschke works onsite considering and curating RedBall within a city’s distinct urban landscape. The artist's decisions about embedding RedBall address not only architecture and urban space, but also anticipate the flow of people, traffic and the observer's eye.
What used to be neglected space becomes a realm of possibilities. Compressed in every site, RedBall changes its own shape, as well as the space it inhabits, directly reflecting our experience of metropolitan density.
(story compliments of: http://tinyurl.com/64vmke)
The BALL is currently sitting pretty outside our office. Read more about it here: http://redballproject.com/chicago/index.php
Now Chicago has balls.
And beans. And bears. And bulls.
- "J, did D tell you our story at lunch?"
- "Oh yeah, about the marijuana?"
[heard at 1:32 pm]
- "Kerri is listening to every other word you're saying" Truth.
[heard at 1:39 pm]
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lately, I have not been wrong.
Case and point:
I just went out to lunch and was explaining this theory to my dad, referencing a few examples so he would recognize it was a legit thought process. As I was studying the menu to decide what to order, I came across the "COB Salad." I thought two things: 1) this was their cobb salad that they just awkwardly capitalized and forgot a 'b' or 2) this was a C.O.B. Salad so it was capitalized for good reason because it stood for something. Since I was about to order it, I decided to ask the waiter.
Turns out - it was a cobb salad, spelled wrong.
Ha. Luv it.
Friday, August 29, 2008
1) An English bulldog that I will name "Moose" [please have him resemble the below and note I will accept more than one]
2) A house on Cape Cod (not too picky)
3) Endless cups of coffee...all I ask is that the coffee mug have a sizeable handle.
4) Paperclips. Seriously. I love them.
5) Mark DeRosa (speaks for itself)
6) Chapstick. I'm an addict.
...That should do it for now.
I really don't think it's much to ask for.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I love "The Hills" and I know a good handful of people who appreciate the drama they create just as much as me.
And as much as I hate the Heidi/Spencer dream team, I do love Spencer's quotability level. My favorite in last night's episode (and maybe overall) occurred while having a heated discussion with his sister:
"I can't make you un-my sister."
Genius. Mad genius.
This time, she's really done it. Remember those shows you've always wanted to watch? However, naturally the minute you remember you want to watch them, they aren't actually ON TV at that time. [i.e. "One Tree Hill" has always seemed right up my alley with the perfect balance of cheesy quotes and good looking men, but I always forget to watch it.]
It seems too good to be true...but the good news? It isn't!
So thanks, A, keep 'em coming!
Friday, August 22, 2008
One of those boxes was Tropical DOTS. Mixed reviews on the flavors, but A plus for the packaging. This includes a very handy "DOT Drop," where you can open the box at the top easily and the DOTS just drop out! Hence the clever name.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
He gave me this spiel about how he lives down the street and a water pipe broke, flooded the street and resulted in his car being towed downtown. He had to catch a flight to Boston in two hours, but his computer, wallet and cell phone were all in his car...which was "towed downtown somewhere on Wacker". And did I know that you need ID to fly? He was frantic. I was about to feel bad for him when he said, "I normally would never ask this. I mean, I'm a VP for an elite marketing firm and I make good money, I'm talking good money like one hundred K, but I'm freaking out - can you please spare me any cash for cab fare?"
A of all) I *strongly dislike* when people feel the need to share how much money they make
B of all) Did he really just say "K" instead of "grand" or "thousand?
Anyways, the good person in me handed over a ten and a "good luck."
Walking away, I realized if he really is the VP of a marketing firm, it's nice to know how he handles crisis situations.
Note to self: Don't work for that dude.
Note #2 to self: Don't hand over tens to strangers again.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Great pizza place to try in Chicago. It's not your typical deep-dish that we all know and love so much, but the crust is crunchy and the beer is better.
In the heart of Bucktown. Try it. I mean where else can you order an individual pizza with a mashed potato topping?
Warning: After eating here, you will probably be prompted to incorporate the word "piece" into your sentences. i.e. "Man, I ate one piece too many" or "Piece be with you," etc. Not that this actually happened...I'm just sayin'
Thus, I have pulled a few of my favorite lyrics involving Sunday...just because...
* Sunday morning, rain is falling, steal some covers, share some skin (Maroon 5)
* And the haze clears from your eyes on a Sunday (Jimmy Eat World)
* Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees, tell me on a Sunday please (Sarah Brightman)
* Suddenly everything's gonna be okay, there's somethin' 'bout a Sunday (Michael Peterson)
* And steal a kiss as the sun fades, that's what I love about Sunday (Craig Morgan)
* Pray that it's raining on Sunday, stormin' like crazy (Keith Urban)
...I was tempted to add the ever-popular line from Manic Monday..."I wish it was Sunday cuz that's my fun day"...but I just couldn't do it. That would have been taking it too far and it would have taken away from the SUNday.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
His typical eats:
Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes
Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)
Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)And he still complains about how hard it is to keep weight on. Yeah, I have that problem too...Oh, to be an Olympic swimmer.
Here you can insert different text and change the font, color, arrangement of the words to your liking. Definitely not for everyone, but if I can finally give in to the fact I am a sappy hopeless romantic, I can give into the fact that I am obsessed with this website.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I realize that yes, there are a lot of stripes on our flag, but it's the American Flag, for goodness sake. That's sacred ground. You can't mess that up.
Or if you're a new $0.42 cent stamp, apparently you can.