Thursday, April 30, 2009

To All Me Hearties...

Just as you were getting annoyed with the "look" of the New realize well, maybe I can get used to this. Then you find a feature in which you can change the default language from just your boring ol' English to the more exciting and fascinating language of Pirate English!

Tis true, mateys.

1) Log onto Facebook
2) Scroll all the way to the bottom
3) In the left-hand corner, click on "English"
4) Choose "English (Pirate)"

Fill in what be troublin' ya or freshly plunder ya mugshot.

Either way, shiver me timbers: tis a real treasure find!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

She Was Definitely Runnin' It...

...Like, like, like a circus.

I think it's totally fair that I had high expectations of Britney's latest, the CIRCUS tour. Afterall, I worked for the Greatest Show on Earth.

Truth be told, what we witnessed, live, in person, last night could not exactly be called the circus as I don't really know what we saw. Freakshow? Maybe.

What I do know is that if there was any child there under the age of 12, they will be permanently scarred...particularly during a video of B.Spears and co. interrupting "Sweet Dreams are Made of These" in Marilyn Manson style. I'm not joking. And no, I don't want to know what Marilyn's dreams are made of.

Shock factor? Yes.
Thrilling? Yes.

And Britney? Oh, she's back...she is definitely back, complete with old school moves to "Hit me, baby, one more time."

No OOPS needed...She's done it again!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Friends Classification

I have smart friends.

I surround myself with smart people who pose interesting questions. The question I would like to share that was recently posed by my friend, B, while sitting at "MiniBar" in Boston was this:

If you were inanimate object, what you would be?

Genius! Instead of answering for ourselves, we let each other choose what kind of object we represent. I strongly urge you do this among friends. It is hysterical.

We classified each other as the following:

A is her polka-dotted iPod speaker case
(as she is loud, loves polka dots and entertains others constantly)

B is one of those sprinklers with arms that releases water everywhere
(as she is very animated, refreshing and leaves you guessing where her stories are headed)

I was classified as Billy the Big Mouth Bass - aka the fish that sings
(speaks for itself?) be fair, I was classified originally as a pineapple-shaped porchlight...
...we revised, which is allowed...

Amusement doesn't get much better.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Now That It's Raining More Than Ever...

Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, ella
eh, eh, eh

I love perfectly timed rained. It makes me happy. i.e. when it rains during work hours and I don't necessarily need to be outside, but then miraculously, stops between 5-5:30pm so I can walk to the EL in peace...that makes me happy. Very happy. And gives me a pocketful of sunshine.

We've All Been There...

...Some more than others.

My brother, for instance, is famous for sending really appropriate texts late at night, after of innocently socializing with his buddies.

Read what others have found in their "sent" folder the next morning.

Makes you feel a little better about the decisions you make each and every day.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Like People...

With funny web logs.

Like this character:
Rock On the CTA

Makes life more fascinating and fun.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Although Finding Nemo coined the "just keep swimming...," I think it's more appropriate to say:
just keep swapping.
just keep swapping.
just keep swapping.

Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm A Very Nice Girl.

Things that weird me out:

People who share my name.
People who blog about people who share my name
i.e. Matt Kates

:: At least he had nice things to say...and it seems he got bored with blogging...

Props to C for finding this gem.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Test-Tube Vodka, Baby.


Take this article I just read...

Blacklisted Vodka.

All they need is Chelsea Handler to become their spokesperson (which might be hard considering she's a Kettle One devotee). I bet she could be coaxed with a few handles and some dollars thrown her way.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Truth Be Told:

I Dreamed A Dream...

And now I want to see Les Mes...

I Dreamed A Dream

Good for her. That takes guts.
I'd give her a standing O also.

Capital Of The Keyboard


one may never know.

Lock It Up.

You've heard of gridlock...
but what you haven't heard of is WORDLOCK.

If you are like me, you rarely remember what your lock combination is/was. The gym I belong to requires a bring-your-lock-to-lock-your-locker-or-else-all-your-possessions-will-be-stolen kinda lock.

Alas, no more fretting about that nutty combo that was randomly assigned to you.

Enter: the WORDLOCK.
The lock that allows you to remember a word instead of a wacky number combination!

So go ahead and lock it up!

Statue of Liberty

"If life were easy, it'd be a slut...but instead, it's a bitch"

--my co-workers are smarter than yours--

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

...And A Baseball Bat!

found at:
aka my new obsession

I Love A Lot Of Things.

but I'm not crazy about the phrase "I heart such and such"

As in:

I heart pretzels or
I heart bowling or
I heart when people change lightbulbs for me.

But I do like this website, thanks to a sweet co-worker who paved the way.

So go on and put a little love in your

Consider It.

Perhaps you should consider this option.

visit for more hilarity and spice.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Stamp of Approval

Even Playboy bunnies have their moments of learning life lessons...

Mailing things can be tough. I "understand."

To A Tee...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I've Been Bam-Googled


Google got me.

When I signed into Gmail yesterday, I noticed that there was a new tab at the top called "AutoPilot." I was kind of upset because I felt like it was stripping me of my ability to think for myself. Welp, joke's on me because it was totally an April Fool's Joke.

Ballsy, Google, ballsy, yet well played.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My Most Inspiring Post Yet...

It's white ink!!!



April Fools??